๐ Update 1.3.3 โ Table Talk
A generous helping between the big ones: talk to your table, earn your knife-marks, and get fitted by a very serious tailor. Grazie for every report and suggestion โ most of this list started as one.
๐ฌ Say Something (Co-op)
- ๐ญ Emote wheel โ hold T (or click the right stick) for a six-slice radial: CIAO! ยท AH AH! ยท GRAZIE โฅ ยท GG! ยท MAMMA MIAโฆ ยท GRR! Aim with mouse or stick, release to send. Your meatball pulls the face to match, and everyone at the table sees it.
- ๐ Pings โ tap V (middle-mouse / L3) to drop a gold LOOT HERE marker where you're aiming, or hold it to scream HELP over your own head. Off-screen pings get an arrow on the edge of your screen.
๐ช Weapon Mastery
- ๐
Every kill now counts toward the weapon that made it. Ranks IโV at 100 / 300 / 750 / 1500 / 3000 kills.
- โจ Hit Rank III and your held weapon goes bronze โ then silver, then gold. Yes, everyone can see it.
- ๐งฌ Evolving a weapon never resets the grind: evolved forms feed their base weapon's mastery.
- ๐ Mastery shows on the Bestiary weapon cards, and a Rank III+ starter comes out of the box at Level 2 in Custom Runs.
๐ Where Did The Damage Come From?
- ๐งพ The game-over scroll now shows a top-5 damage breakdown โ every weapon, grenade, aura, relic, utensil, power-up and even your dash, with damage, percentage and kills. Your "surely the flamethrower is carrying" theory is now testable.
- ๐จโ๐ณ New CHEF PROFILE in Records: lifetime playtime, runs, win rate, kills, deaths, best score, blocks & parries โ plus The Regulars (favourite meatball, signature weapon with its mastery numeral, and your personal nemesis) and your full collection count. EXPORT CARD saves it as an image, ready to post.
๐ฉ L'Atelier di Maestro Filo
- ๐ A second shop on the street โ a midnight tailor's atelier behind Nonna's. Nothing is sold here; Maestro Filo simply fits what you've earned.
- ๐งต Four racks โ TITLES ยท SKINS ยท HATS ยท CURSORS โ each piece listing exactly how to unlock it, with a standing mirror that previews your skin, hat and title together. (This replaces the WARDROBE menu from 1.3.2 โ same wardrobe, much better room.)
- ๐จ COLOURWAYS โ clear the campaign on Well Done as a meatball and unlock an alternate palette for it. Works for the ones you cooked yourself in The Kitchen too. Your teammates see it.
- ๐ช New ascension ladder rewards: skin Ember Crust (A2), the title "the Twice-Cooked" (A4), the Cleaver cursor (A6) and skin Obsidian Sear (A8).
- ๐ The achievements screen now shows the real illustrated icon art for all 57 โ locked ones sit in greyscale, waiting.
๐ฅ Feel
- ๐ง Hit-stop โ the world catches for a few milliseconds on crits, boss weak-point hits and parries. Crits have weight now.
- โก๏ธ Threat arrows โ off-screen bosses, mini-bosses and elites get an edge marker, and so do the last stragglers once six or fewer remain. No more sweeping the arena for enemy number two.
- ๐ Damage numbers are colour-coded by type โ ranged, melee, explosive, beam, shock, weak-point, true damage. Crits keep their gold.
- โก Parry spark โ a proper directional flash thrown back down the line of the hit.
- ๐ค Your meatball has a face now: a grimace when hurt, a determined jaw while guarding, a victory bounce and a grin on wave clear โ and three different ways to look ridiculous when you die.
- ๐จ Dashing leaves a fading trail in your own colour.
- ๐ Full weapon-sound audit โ every weapon in the game checked. Beams hum, chain weapons zap, turrets deploy and pew, thrown grenades actually make a sound leaving your hand, and heavy melee lands like it weighs something. Fixed three weapons that were playing their sound twice.
โฟ Comfort & Accessibility
- ๐ข Game speed slider (75โ100%) โ the whole game, gently slowed. Bullet time and hit-stop now compose with it instead of fighting it. (Forced to 100% in multiplayer.)
- ๐ UI scale (0.8โ1.5ร) โ and the camera zooms out by exactly the same amount, so a bigger interface never costs you a smaller view of the arena.
- ๐ Minimum font size toggle for handhelds and TVs, applied to every label in the game, not just the ones we remembered.
- ๐ฅ๏ธ Ultrawide fix โ past 21:9 the HUD pulls into a 16:9 band, so your health and your minimap stop living in different postcodes.
๐ Fully Translated
- ๐ฃ๏ธ Every last line โ 2,452 entries across 8 languages (English, Afrikaans, Deutsch, Espaรฑol, ๆฅๆฌ่ช, Portuguรชs BR, ะ ัััะบะธะน, ็ฎไฝไธญๆ). The lines that were still hiding in English (Test Kitchen, Trials, Order Up!, both shops, the atelier) are done.
- ๐ฏ๐ต ๐จ๐ณ Japanese and Chinese now render properly โ the CJK fonts are bundled.
- ๐ Long translations no longer overflow: buttons wrap, settings rows wrap, and card names shrink to fit instead of getting cut off mid-word.
๐ Steam
- ๐ฅ FRIENDS tab on the leaderboards โ flip between WORLDWIDE and just the people you actually know.
- ๐ฌ Timeline markers for tickets served, trials passed, and your best parries and reflects.
๐ง Fixes & Housekeeping
- ๐ณ๏ธ Fixed five achievements and cosmetics that literally could not be earned โ some had been unwinnable since they were added. If you already met the conditions, they'll pop on your next launch.
- ๐พ New save-integrity tests over every persisted field. We found (and fixed) a save-loading bug that could silently drop your unlocks โ nobody's profile has to be brave about it any more.
- ๐ฉบ Crash report tool โ if a session ends badly, the menu offers a one-click pasteable report (build, hardware, settings, log tail). Also available any time from Settings โ DATA, because most bug reports aren't crashes. Nothing is ever uploaded; it just goes to your clipboard.
Still on the stove: the story intro & endings are resting off-menu while we rework them properly, and the balance pass rolls on toward 1.0. ๐ฒ
Found something? Community hub or Discord โ that's where this whole update came from.
Buon appetito! โค๏ธ