THE KITCHEN UPDATE
You can cook your own meatball now.
Head into The Kitchen from character select and mix, grind, pan-fry and plate one yourself. Get the fat ratio right, pick your spices, don't burn it — what comes out is a fully playable character you can take straight into a run. Burn it and, well. That one's on you.
The big rebalance
Some of you spotted that you went basically unkillable around level 4 or 5. You were right — and it was worse under the hood than it looked. Incoming damage was capped flat while your healing scaled forever.
- Damage now scales with how many things are actually chewing on you
- Lifesteal, armour, dodge and crit use soft caps instead of hard walls
- 20 mini-bosses that were unreachable are back in rotation — special waves went from 13 to 27 across a campaign
- Every weapon retuned, and bosses are now sized against a real time-to-kill target
Economy & progression
- Tougher enemies pay more than a swarm does (they always had a value — nothing was reading it)
- Gold and XP rebalanced so a run has a middle again
- Shop cards show Owned xN, so stacking is a decision instead of a guess
- Level-ups now offer build-defining archetype cards, not just stat bumps
Co-op
- Co-op finally gets level-up cards — no pausing, 5-second timer, press 1/2/3 to pick
- Fixed: the d-pad silently stopped switching weapons for the rest of a run after you visited a shop
- Fixed: "300/1 health" showing up on the HUD
Under the hood
- Windows runs on Vulkan now for wider driver support (--rendering-driver d3d12 in launch options if you need the old path)
- Fully localised in 7 languages
- Integrity warns you before an item quietly wrecks your meatball
Buon appetito.