Alright, time to actually get serious for a moment. This
no
The Jester Guardian is finally in th
Jester has finally returned - dude do you have any idea how much I put into this? I've been working on this one single Guardian for about as long as it's taken to fully implement every single other one. Maybe it's me that's the clown. I dedicate so much time and energy to this thing knowing full-well y'all might not even like it or maybe you just hate it. And like, I get it. It's a mess but it's also like, ya gotta be in the right headspace. Live a little man. Let yourself actually enjoy something for once. You don't have to spend your entire day being uptight. Ah but where was I: So, Jester, it's here. Just not sure if it should be. It quite literally wreaks havoc across my entire codebase. Like, not saying that as a joke, I have to add "if(jester)" clauses to like 500 different places and it genuinely makes the code harder to read. I sometimes think that I overshare. Very close to just holding backspace. Look man I'm trying alright. I've got a wedding coming up and we just bought our first house so there's a lot on my mind. Maybe I'm pushing this update out too soon. I don't really know how to do this work/life balance thing. Look, just understand that this is not the same Jester as GG1, it's a lot more. I had basically zero experience when I made the first one. You know what else is a whole lot more than GG1 Jester? Cell Command's Joker. Dog, I keep tellin' you, you gotta play Cell Command. It's like... it's not like a tactics game even, it's better. It has a 98% review score for a reason. Well ok it dropped to 97% after this one dude reviewed it and was like "I just didn't vibe with this one for some reason" meanwhile bro has literally 0.1h of playtime, like what. Hope you guys have fun with the new Guardian!
QUESTION: Why does Jester look like a Hull instead of a Guardian?
ANSWER: idk
QUESTION: Is Jester supposed to be a reference to Deltarune's "Jevil"?
ANSWER: go AWAY
QUESTION: Is there seriously only one new Guardian in this update?
ANSWER: alright that's it NO MORE Q&A LEAVE ME ALONE
(warning: the above video does not exist.)
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(NOTE: alright, enough 🤡clownin' around🤡, everything below is real)
Homing increases Damage by half instead (up to +100% Damage)
So homing weapons WON'T home in anymore but hit harder. Actually pretty great.
while at full Health: Health gains during a wave increase Shield instead
... hmm that's kinda boring actually, but it is what it is I guess.
Crit Chance +50%
non-Crit projectiles don't deal Damage
🐸
This is one of those mods that makes bad players say "what's the point?" While the good players make off like bandits abusing the hell out of it. Which player are you?
heal 4 Damage if you took Damage last wave
So this one's handy since it activates IF you need it and like, it's kinda poetic. So much better than GG1 Pacemaker. Good luck actually unlocking this though.
forgot what this one does.
while at full Health: Health gains during a wave increase Shield instead
I honestly loved this one so much that I'm just straight-up adding 2 of them. You get to have 2 Dynamo Mods and it's crazy. You can use that for your video title: "the dev added 2 OF THE SAME MOD???" or well nah maybe just stuck to something like "I NUKED 1034482343 VIRUSES", that's what you seem to gravitate toward.
So homing weapons WON'T home in anymore but hit harder. Actually pretty great.
Homing increases Damage by half instead (up to +100% Damage). Actually pretty great.
nah, you'll have to wait for 0.8.0 for Magnet. It's not GG1 Magnet at all though (which sucked), this one is like x10 / xInfinity better.
NEW
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added 🎱 more Chips:
Zap Chain Distance +100% on Zap Weapons🍟
Nanobot Scale -30%🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟
Deposit Chance +400%🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟
Heat Buildup -25%🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟
Microbe Frozen Speed -30%🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟
Firerate +50%, Heat Buildup +100%🍟🍟🍟🍟
Hit Invulnerability Time +1s🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟
Armour Max +2, Nanobot Scale +100%🍟🍟🍟
DO NOT REPORT ALREADY HAVING THE "discover all chips" AWARD/ACHIEVEMENT AS A BUG🐜, DO YOU WANT ME TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU HUH IS THAT IT? IF YOU HAVE IT NOW YOU HAVE IT FOREVER, ACCEPT YOUR FATE, YOU JUST ALREADY HAVE IT AND THAT'S THAT, GO AHEAD TELL THE WORLD ABOUT HOW YOU HAVE AN ACHIEVEMENT FOR DISCOVERING ALL CHIPS BUT THEN UH OH IN-GAME IT SAYS YOU'VE DISCOVERED 33/42??? LOOK IT'S NOT A BUG, IT'S NOT A BUG IT'S NOT A BUG JUST STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
🍟
Oh, yeah and I added like 12 new Anomalies. also check this out:
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stuff
(NOTE: alright, enough 🤡clownin' around🤡, everything below is real)
"Jester" Guardian: Firerate -1000%.
NEW MOD: SALINE 🎲
still don't remember what this does.
I have once again aggressively re-balanced something based on a single player's feedback. Probably one of the barrels or something.
9PP00-IM9Y2-PT0KK
Genome Guardian 2: The game has changed compared to the previous version.
5 DNA Letter weapons have finally been added.
the the entire soundtrack has been replaced with nightcore.
a Glock has been added.
due to a number of requests from players, the game now sells all of your personal data to your nearest convenience store.
added a bunch of typos.
I`m break the game on puirpose some times.
"Jester" Guardian:
Pizza in a Can: No longer crashes the game 1000 times.
THE CIRCUS IS IN TOWN
I fixed another typo.
🫃
sloup
in all seriousness,