Builder’s Diary - Part 2
November 15, 1993 - What to Do When Something Gets Dirty with Paint
I was painting a room today. I’ve told myself before that I need to protect the furniture before starting work. Diary, you know what? I forgot again—like an idiot, I forgot again. I swung the brush, and paint dripped onto the bed, and there you go. A big, green stain right in the middle. Beautiful, isn’t it?
No problem, quick action. I grabbed an old rag and scrubbed, scrubbed, scrubbed until my hand hurt. I managed to get most of it out, but a trace was left, and the material got stiff. I’ll tell the client it’s a “modern effect,” very American. Maybe it’ll catch on. Too bad I didn’t rinse the rag first because now it stinks a bit.
November 25, 1993 - Painter’s Plastic
Let me tell you, Diary—painter’s plastic isn’t just any old thing; it’s top-tier stuff. You can cover everything—furniture, floors, chandeliers, whatever you want. Spackle drips, and you don’t have to worry. The worst part is that I remembered this after finishing the job, and then I had to clean everything for an hour.
From now on, it’s decided: plastic always from the start. You learn from your mistakes, right?
November 5, 1993 - Wallpapering the Living Room
7:00 AM – A big living room, and the client wanted wallpaper with roses. The worst part is, without a pattern, you don’t have to match anything. But no, it has to be roses, because her sister-in-law has them, so she must have them too. Ugh, women… I take out my tools, cut the first strip, and start from the corner. The glue was way too thick—so I added some water, why not! Because of that, it dripped a little onto the floor. No big deal, I’ll clean it up later. But something kept nagging me, something I was supposed to remember, something that was supposed to help me. And no, it wasn’t having a beer before work because I always remember that. Something… oh, crap, I forgot again.
9:00 AM – The first wall is done, though the patterns don’t line up. Luckily, it’s behind the wardrobe, so no one will see it. Besides, they should’ve picked something solid-colored, not roses. Roses in roses, what nonsense.
2:00 PM – And here’s where the problem started. Instead of smoothing the wallpaper with a roller after the first strip, I went ahead and applied it everywhere. One side had already dried, so the wrinkles stayed, and on the other side, I pressed too hard and squeezed the glue out. I smudged it a bit, so you can kind of see it, but kind of not. Oh well, the client probably won’t notice—it looks perfect from a distance. The key is to make sure they don’t stare too long.
December 10, 1993 - Alcohol Straightens Furniture
8:00 AM – Stefan called and said he needed a kitchen cabinet hung up. Simple job, but after last night, my head was pounding. I thought, “One shot to calm the nerves.” And off we go.
10:00 AM – The cabinet’s up, but Stefan says, “It’s crooked!” I look at him and say, “It’s not the cabinet; you’re crooked!” And then, somehow, I wanted to straighten him out, so I pulled out what I had in my bag, and he pulled something out from his bar. When we ran out of vodka, Stefan decided the cabinet was actually perfectly straight. Maybe it’s a controversial method, but it works.
December 18, 1993 - How to Blow Off Steam at Work
Working at Henry’s place. I’m laying tiles in the kitchen, and he’s standing over me, complaining. “This is crooked, there’s not enough glue there.” I was about to lose my temper, but instead of saying something, I made an “OK” gesture and said, “It’ll all be as good as new.”
Henry nodded and calmed down for a bit, but then he came back later, complaining that the tiles weren’t the right ones. So I said, “This is how it’s done now; these tiles are in fashion.” He didn’t look convinced, but he waved it off and left.
And that’s when I seized the moment—I said, “Mr. Henry, take a look at how this part matches the cabinets.” Henry turned around, and I flipped him the middle finger. Sometimes you’ve got to let it out, but discreetly—because if they see it, they might not pay you!
Half an hour later, that pest came back and said it was wrong. So I said, “If you know better, show me how it’s done.” And guess what? Ha! Now I’m drinking a beer, watching Henry lay tiles in his own kitchen.
November 15, 1993 - The Discovery of the Season
9:00 AM – I was at Mrs. Zosia's place. The wardrobe doors wouldn’t close properly, so I fixed them. I open the wardrobe, take a look, and inside it’s completely empty, so much space that it’s just begging for something to be thrown in there. So I did.
10:30 AM – I hid all the repair trash inside. The client was happy, said it was clean this time, and even threw in a beer as a tip. I’m thinking: “Genius!”
I even came up with a great quote, writing it down for posterity:
"Hide it, and it’ll be clean." – Majsterro Coellho
November 30, 1993 - Cutting Tiles
Sometimes, when laying tiles, you end up with gaps because the client’s walls are more crooked than my promises. Then you have to cut a tile. The most important thing is to mark the cutting line properly. You measure, draw with a pencil, and head to the cutting table.
Once, I cut so badly that I was left with nothing but sharp shards. But you know what? Those scraps can be stuffed where the client won’t look—like behind the toilet. If they complain, you tell them it’s a “postmodernist style.”
The key to success? You’ve got one shot to cut it right—or you do it again.
December 20, 1993 - Shopping or Dumpster Diving?
You’re on a job, and the client says, “We need new furniture or materials.” You walk into a store, look at the prices, and already know it’s going to hurt. But there are tricks. The client wants cream tiles? You grab white ones because they’re on sale. Tell them it’s a “premium shade”—they won’t even notice.
And what about furniture? Once, a client wanted a new sofa. Instead of spending a fortune, I found one by a dumpster. It was a bit dirty, but I wiped it down, brought it in, and voilà. The client was happy, and I saved enough for a case of beer and a meal at the gas station.
Just remember to clean it well—a dumpster sofa can’t smell like a dumpster.
December 22, 1993 - Moving and Dismantling Furniture
Moving heavy furniture is a nightmare. Once, a client asked me to move a huge wardrobe to the other side of the room. No way I could do it alone, so what did I do? I dismantled it into parts. Doors, shelves, even hinges. Easier and faster.
When reassembling it, I ended up with some leftover screws. But as I always say: “If they’re left over, they were unnecessary!” The wardrobe is still standing, and the client says it’s working better than ever. I told them it’s thanks to modern furniture-building techniques.
The key? Better to lose a few screws than your own spine.
That’s all for now, dear Diary. Every day brings new adventures, new challenges, and new ways to satisfy the client, hehe. But hey, what would this job be without a little risk? I’m off to grab a beer, and I’ll jot down more soon. Until next time!