POSTAL 2

1. 
   R. Kelly's Protege

   Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
   68%
2. 
   Duck Dynasty

   Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
   49%
3. 
   Here, Wilfred

   Gained your first dog helper.
   46%
4. 
   Chapelle's Show

   Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
   8.7%
5. 
   Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

   Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
   49%
6. 
   Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

   Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
   4.5%
7. 
   Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

   Survived Monday.
   53%
8. 
   C U Next Tuesday

   Survived Tuesday.
   34%
9. 
   OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

   Survived Wednesday.
   28%
10. 
    It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

    Survived Thursday.
    22%
11. 
    Workin' for the Weekend

    Survived Friday.
    19%
12. 
    Screw Bill Lumbergh!

    Survived Saturday.
    14%
13. 
    I swear, I thought it was a home fill

    Exploded a nuclear bomb.
    10%
14. 
    Cesar Millan is Very Happy

    Mauled 30 people with your dog.
    6.3%
15. 
    OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

    Roasted 30 people with fire.
    20%
16. 
    Rebecca Black's Nightmare

    Totaled 30 cars.
    9.8%
17. 
    Hello, Newman

    Kicked 30 dogs.
    5.0%
18. 
    Darth Maul'd!

    Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
    14%
19. 
    Reddit would be proud.

    Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
    9.1%
20. 
    Pussy on a Pedestal

    Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
    5.4%
21. 
    I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

    Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
    20%
22. 
    Uncle T-Bag

    Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
    5.5%
23. 
    Do you even Enzyte, bro?

    Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
    28%
24. 
    Running With Scissors

    Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
    8.5%
25. 
    Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

    Killed over 1,000 people.
    18%
26. 
    And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

    Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
    22%
27. 
    Lieberman is our Leader!

    Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
    32%
28. 
    Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

    Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
    25%
29. 
    Can't Touch This

    Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
    16%
30. 
    Fear and Loathing

    Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
    4.7%
31. 
    Señor Cornballer

    Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
    8.2%
32. 
    GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

    Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
    19%
33. 
    Rick Grimes 4 Life

    Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
    9.0%
34. 
    Anustart!

    Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
    4.2%
35. 
    40 Year Old Virgin

    Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
    3.8%
36. 
    CAN YOU DIG IT?!

    Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
    3.6%
37. 
    Planet of the Apes: The Musical

    Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
    4.1%
38. 
    Scientology Level: OT VIII

    Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
    3.3%
39. 
    Fur Sure!

    Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
    32%
40. 
    It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

    Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
    34%
41. 
    Where's Mr. McGibblets?

    Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
    20%
42. 
    Finkle IS Einhorn!

    Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
    32%
43. 
    Anger Management With Roger Clemens

    Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
    9.8%
44. 
    Shiva Blast

    "Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
    10%
45. 
    Don't taze me, bro!

    Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
    5.6%
46. 
    I Am Legend

    Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
    11%
47. 
    I should buy a boat

    Read the newspaper every day.
    8.9%
48. 
    Friend of Dorothy

    Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
    62%
49. 
    Officer McLovin'

    Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
    46%
50. 
    Paid the Piper

    Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
    13%
51. 
    Well, aren't YOU a badass

    Kicked open a door.
    57%
52. 
    I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

    Put out someone that's on fire.
    36%
53. 
    It's sterile and I like the taste

    Sucked down your own piss.
    37%
54. 
    It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

    Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
    32%
55. 
    FAB-U-LOUS!

    Wore all three outfits.
    15%
56. 
    I don't need virgins for this

    Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
    6.4%
57. 
    A-Rod Who?

    Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
    13%
58. 
    Door Mat

    Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
    14%
59. 
    Chuck Norris'd!

    Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
    11%
60. 
    One time, at band camp...

    Saved the marching band from explody death.
    6.9%
61. 
    There's always money in the banana standSecret

    Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
    10%
62. 
    SCREW that game!Secret

    Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
    4.7%
63. 
    Found 'em faster than GWBSecret

    Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
    8.5%
64. 
    Gotta pay the Troll TollSecret

    Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
    18%
65. 
    John Rambo'd!Secret

    Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
    8.4%
66. 
    Gary vs. The K. ManSecret

    Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
    4.1%
67. 
    You are not aloneSecret

    Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
    14%
68. 
    Thanks for the money!

    Finished all seven days.
    9.1%
69. 
    GABAGOOOOOL!

    Reunited with an old friend.
    8.1%
70. 
    Holocaust: Part Deux

    Reunited with an old enemy.
    6.7%
71. 
    Rain on your Wedding Day

    Reunited with an old flame.
    6.0%
72. 
    Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

    Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
    5.5%
73. 
    Better than POSTAL III

    Rescued your loyal companion.
    4.6%
74. 
    My Name is Jesus

    Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
    3.1%
75. 
    Harder than r/gonewild

    Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
    3.0%
76. 
    Adderall4All

    Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
    3.1%
77. 
    Ape GapeSecret

    Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
    4.6%
78. 
    Dick MessageSecret

    Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
    4.5%
79. 
    PooMasherSecret

    Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
    3.7%
80. 
    Hobo SexualSecret

    Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
    3.8%
81. 
    Ginger MintSecret

    Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
    6.0%
82. 
    Ode to EddingsSecret

    Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
    3.3%
83. 
    Ladies Love CakeSecret

    Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
    3.8%
84. 
    Rich on Reddit

    Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
    3.7%
85. 
    BioShocked

    Spent $2000 on vending machines.
    4.4%
86. 
    Gettin DP'd

    Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
    4.8%
87. 
    You Snow Nothing John Blow

    Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
    3.4%
88. 
    RAFIBOMB!!!

    Kicked 10 people in the balls.
    10%
89. 
    I'm not even supposed to be here today!Secret

    Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
    13%

Names, descriptions and icons are the game’s own, as Steam publishes them; the share is how many owners have unlocked each, from Steam's global figures for 89 of them.