Alright goblins, we’ve got some big changes for you today! In order to maximize efficiency and boost shareholder returns, we’re making adjustments to your workflows and operational parameters. We’re increasing the size of your work teams, we’ve enticed new dungeon residents to join our community, and we’ve somehow engineered a new weather system.
- Goblin teams can now contain up to SIX goblins! We expect you all to HELP each other survive and stop dying together so often. Training new goblins is inefficient and slow so you need to make it out of the dungeon! Help US to help YOU... to help our bottom line!
- You may get a Goldmoon event on the level selector - these mysterious new weather patterns make the residents a little more generous, and you’ll earn more money per package. However, they’re also making the dungeon inhabitants act a little strange…
- There are some new monsters in the dungeon - first up: Hobangoas (the Stalker). We don’t know much about this one yet, he’s a little hard to spot sometimes. I’m sure you’ll figure out a way to maximize shareholder value from this!
- Next monster: Venedigermandl (the Jester). He thinks he’s funny… you might not. Unless you find explosives funny, in which case he’s great!
- New work uniform option: Baby Troll heads. Show your loyalty to Barry, Larry, Garry, or George. See if it will fool them into not attacking you! (We disclaim any liability from testing this theory.)
- We’ve added achievements to Steam! Now you can slap your friends around FOR A REASON.
- Say goodbye to the Easter eggs - they’ve all been collected. Instead, you’ll find keys (or clues) to access the treasure room now.
- Speaking of the treasure room, it’s little less likely to appear now - the residents were unhappy with giving gold to lazy goblins for free!
- The Mama Nooter has returned to Ice Cave! Rejoice and/or tremble in your boots.
- The leeches will now draw players much closer to their holes when captured instead of trying to drag them in sideways or diagonally.
- There are also a couple small fixes around object ownership lag and lobby permissions breaking the shop.
That’s all for this week! Now go make the most of it - we hope this inspires you to maximize shareholder value.