Crusader Kings III · published
Rule kingdoms. Wear the trauma.
The medieval era wasn't pretty, and neither are you. Crusader Kings III has teamed up with Dogecore to bring you a collection that captures every glorious, cursed corner of the game you know and love.
From hoodies and tees to tote bags and posters, this drop is for the player who's lost an heir to smallpox, tortured a vassal into submission, and somehow still calls it a good Tuesday.
The collection features four original apparel designs:
Sorry, Princess — I Only Date War Machines. Because love is a siege engine.
Maslow's Hierarchy (CK3 Edition). Self-actualization is the Pope liking you. Physiological needs? Gold surplus. We don't make the rules.
I Did Not Ask To Be Born. Blind. Bastard. Imbecile. Hideous. At least you have the genes for it.
I Love Medieval Torture. The UI pop-up said it loses stress. You clicked the button. No further questions.
And for those who want to truly commit, the CK3 Woven Map Blanket brings the central europe part of the map to life in woven form, from France to the Holy Roman Empire to the edges of Poland. Wrap yourself in your empire. You've earned it. Probably through medieval shenanigans, but still.
Shop the collection at
(By clicking this link you will be redirected to Dogecore's website. Dogecore is an independent retailer selling officially licensed Crusader Kings merchandise. Paradox Interactive is not responsible for Dogecore's website, its content, or its data practices.)
All negative traits. Zero regrets.