Okay, so- hey, are ya gettin’ all this down, you deck-swabbing little- woah, no, wait, don’t write down the mean things I’m saying to you! That’ll look bad for my corporate image. We gotta maintain a pretense of likability. That’s selling-idiots-things 101- no, hey, don’t write that down, either! What if somebody finds this log? My image as a legitimate and highly respected business frog could be destroyed!
Ahem. Alright. So - this is the Captain’s log of B.B. Hopper, business frog about town- no, amphibian entrepreneur- no, the coolest guy you’ll ever meet- argh. Scratch all that out. Just put ‘Captain B.B. Hopper’. This is day number… oh, whatever. I don’t remember. Let’s circle back to that later. We’ve been adrift in the wild skies above Radlandia for months now, and I’m beginning to think that this financially ambitious venture might have been a little bit of a hasty mistake.
Here’s the thing - on my travels through the Flowzone Layer, I’ve spotted plenty of sweet new skate spots, some rad new ultra-challenging Burly Routes where the gnarliest of skaters can show off their skills, and even some pretty snazzy new outfits for the discerning airborne fashionista. But I’ve yet to spot my ultimate goal - the famed city of Radlantis.
Didn’t I have a map? Yes. I did find and purchase a map to the lost city itself through 100% legal and ethical means. Nobody was short-changed, defrauded, or outright burgled in the process, I can tell you that much! But I was afraid that my prize might fall into the wrong hands and lead the devious Radmospheric Three - a trio of clownish explorers in a very silly flying boat - straight to Radlantis. I couldn’t have them beating me to the site of my next illegal tax haven setup- erm, I mean, very legitimate business venture.
So, I shredded the map, and scattered it throughout the skies above Radlandia. Unfortunately, I didn’t memorize the location of Radlantis beforehand, and now I have to say, I might be a little lost. I should probably watch that awesome launch trailer for sweet peek at the road ahead. And even worse - any old skater with sweet skills and a copy of the latest OlliOlli World Expansion Pass (or, even better as it costs more and helps line my slimy amphibian pockets with cold, hard cash, the Rad Edition) could find the pieces of the map and use it to beat me to the city! It’s possible that if they did all that, they might even get to meet the mysterious Gail Force, and compete in a skating competition for the Godz…
That would obviously be terrible, and we can’t let it happen. So, I’ll be taking my ship into one of the super-speedy Windzones on November 2, 2022, to get a big boost of air into my sails and hopefully catapult myself directly into Radlantis before anyone else manages to find out where it’s at.
Alright. That’s enough of the logbook for today. I’m going to hop back to the hold to count my money, and then it’s time to take on the biggest OlliOlli adventure yet…
B. B. Hopper