(April Fools) Introducing our next game Cult of Duty! & WFTO v4.1
War for the Overworld · published
Rarest Greetings Underlords,
Once again, we pop out from the dingy depths of our caverns and gaze upwards towards the untarnished and needlessly fungible Overworld! The surfacers’ schemes bring them ever closer to ruin, and we must merely wait until their weaknesses crumble their world down to bare stone.
The Great Plan has long been in motion, and its tendrils now find purchase in the broader culture of the surfacers. This is the perfect time to strike, and the two blades of our strike are named:
1. Project: COD
2. Project: WFTO:NFTFTO
Let us pull back the curtain and reveal screaming murder victim behind as we delve into our first Project. Project:COD also known as CULT OF DUTY: DUNGEON WARFARE.
Join the Cult of Duty
Cult of Duty: Dungeon Warfare is a brand new First Person Gun ’em Down (FPGED) from our crack team of developers that specialize in real-time strategy management games. In it you will assume the role of a nameless cultist burdened with an exceptional duty. Hence the name, you see you’re a cultist in a cult, and you have a duty. Pretty clever.
He’s looking this way! Quick burn the rest of his face off!
We intend to completely redefine the genre of the FPGED, and we’ve spent literal years gathered around a chalkboard, generating ideas, writing on chalkboards, taking notes, eating chalk, and promoting synergy all to bring you a game that will truly change your perspective on the gaming world of First Person games.
We know. You can’t believe it. It’s long overdue that someone redefines, innovates and revolutionises the FPGED space. Well, hold onto your flaps, because you’re about to get blasted with the sickest FPGED featureset you’ve ever seen:
- An Armoury of Evil - Your cult is armed with an assortment of weapons, forged with steel and imbued with the magical power of blood. Choose from weapons such as the Sacrificial Dagger, The BAFU Launcher, the Power Hand of Evil™ and the Chunder Thunderer, the most powerful weapon in your Arse-nal.
- A Campaign to Remember - Across fifteen expertly crafted levels experience an epic cinematic tale of love and betrayal, woven relationships and beautifully choreographed cutscenes that will leave you wanting more. Then when you’re done, jump on Netflix and binge our tie-in anime which concludes the story.
- Bloody Magic - There’s more to being a cultist than sleeping, eating, collecting payday and performing occult rituals. Your own brand of magic will service you in addition to your weaponry, wield dozens of unique spells as you fight your way through the goodly forces of the surface world. But remember your magic is powered by blood, your blood.
- Know Your Place - As the loyal servant of an Underlord you must never forget who your master is, worship them, praise them with your every working moment, when they slap you then you will feel pleasure like never before. Let them do it, embrace it, enjoy it. Yes, just like that, you like that don’t you my little minion… *ahem* where were we?
- Defeat Greater Parts of Yourself - In the Massively Multiplayer mode Korvek Royale you’ll discover the canon backstory to Korvek, one of the most important and beloved characters in War for the Overworld. Fight other parts of yourself is a massive deathmatch as you take on the form of a lowly cultist amidst the twisted, fractured realm that Korvek calls home. Who will be winner winner micropiglet dinner?
The Honest Truth
Here at Brightrock Games we believe in absolute honesty and transparency with our valued fanbase. So we’re going to call this what it is. We’re going to fleece the absolute gosh-darned pants off you with all sorts of tasty, metric raising, arguably-abusive microtransactions, cosmetics, voice lines and more which you can rub into the faces of those less fortuante.
We’re not hiding it anymore, no one is, gone are the days where we’d charge you honestly for the hours of sweat and toil we put into this content, we’re going to find every possible way to nickel and dime you. It's just the way of things you understand?
Once upon a time, the idea of paying money for horse armour was so absurd that it broke the community of Gamers. Fortunately, we’re long past the days of those plebeian concerns, and microtransactions have since been embraced by the whole gaming community as a force for good.
Pay-to-win? We’ve got that too! You don’t want to fall behind do you? Damn right you don’t you little scamp, basically, you'll want to buy our tat or that's what will happen. Falling behind is what losers do, and we both know you're too awesome to be a loser right?
Multiplayer is a great opportunity to show off your choice in robe colours!
So now we both know you want to be a winner you can check out our list of Day 1 DLC & Microtransactions, complete with pricing so you can start budgeting now! All of these can be purchased together at a 5% discount in the “Certified Winner” pack which comes with a special title “I’m better than you”!
- Robe Colour Pack 1 (£3.99) - Customise your robes like never before with all new colors including: Cherry, Merlot, Jam, Wine, Mahogany, Blood, Currant, Scarlet and more!
- Scowl Pack (£5.99) - Bad guys never smile. Now put your own spin on the iconic expression with 5 brand new scowls to wear into battle. Guaranteed to make enemies and friends alike jealous.
- Grimace Pack (£5.99) - On no occasion do Evil Dudes grin. Right this second redefine expectations on this defining appearance with more than four and less than six pristine grimaces to don in war. Assured to inspire envy in foes and allies all the same.
- Frown Pack (£5.99) - Sinister males always forgo beaming. At this moment, rework the recognisable guise with a few more than a couple fresh frowns to have on in a scrap. Unfailing to assign desirous feelings in companions and rivals
- Glower Pack (£5.99) - At no time do villainous men twinkle teeth. Presently place a rotation upon the archetypal countenance with the square root of 25 virginal glowers to sport to a confrontation. It is certain your antagonists and confidantes will be covetous.
- Iconic Voice Pack (£9.99) - Tired of running around without running your mouth? Grab this pack and you too can spout such lines as “I never get hungry in here for some reason” and “Who the hell is Brian” approximately 97 times a minute.
- Weapon Honing Bundle (£5.99) - Your weapons could always be better, with this pack of raw materials you’ll need to improve the killing power, range and much more. No more grinding, just swipe!
- Modern Warfare Pack (£59.99) - Tired of getting stomped by noobs? Change the field of engagement with the Modern Warfare pack. Containing all your favorite modern weaponry fill your foes full of lead whilst they babble their magic spells, or call in a tactical airstrike should you find yourself outmatched.
- Developer Abuse Pack (£9.99) - You just give us money to verbally abuse you. Whenever you do anything in game you’ll have bespoke developer responses reminding you how bad you are and how much better you would be for purchasing our microtransactions.
We’re so excited to share further news with you in the coming months in the meantime all that remains is to confirm that Cult of Duty will release on the latest Xbox personal console on 01.04.2023.
Coming soon to a video game retailer near you
Until then we’ll be answering any questions you may have in the comments and we’ll include the most pressing ones in our Cult of Duty FAQ below.
Now before we forget we have big news for WFTO as well!
WFTO Patch 4.1 Preview: NFTs for the Overworld
We know you’re all desperate to get your hands on the Cult of Duty, but the demands of our artistic vision are so exacting that it’s going to take a bit more time to ship.
We also know that all of you beautiful, gorgeous, charismatic fans deserve more than a “when it’s done” - so we’re also happy to reveal our original and uncompromised vision and finally provide you with the game WFTO was always meant to be.
War for the Overworld: Non Fungible Tokens for the Overworld (WFTO:NFTFTO) is a radically new content experience in the video-game landscape. The industry at large has refused to acknowledge the power and labour of Gamers, and we at Brightrock think it’s far past time this was remediated.
With WFTO:NFTFTO, the time you invest in WFTO:NFTFTO will be rewarded with novel, fun tokens which are unlocked upon the arrival of the minions in your dungeon. Minions have long had unique personalities, attributes, names, and backstories, all buried deep within the code for the original WFTO. In our new version, each minion summoned will be assigned a token, and if summoned into your dungeon, that token becomes yours - forever.
Some example chunderbois from our first minting. Get them while they’re hot, or not, being hot is a variation that can happen. Much value.
Each minion token has an intrinsic value generated by the hash matrix of our new DungeonCoin crypto-market. This technology will allow you to trade minions between dungeons, or even sell them outright to new players. Do you have a Chunder who spends more time than usual in the Foundry? Is he called Jim? Have you spent nights tossing and turning on white-hot pillows, thinking about how desperately you want Chunder Jim to be your boyfriend?
Well, in a year from now, Chunder Jim will be worth over five million dollars, and his token can be yours to own - provided that he gets summoned to your dungeon.
What’s more, WFTO:NFTFTO will constantly hash new DungeonCoins as you play the game - and each successful hashing increases the value of all the DungeonCoins and minion tokens you own. Finally, you can actually enjoy playing a computer game, comforted by the knowledge that every hour spent playing has boosted the value of your Minion Wallet!
Some of our chunderbois are fully animated! Great for showing off your investments to your “friends”.
We can’t overstate how exciting it is to be spearheading this initiative to bring substantial product value to our fans and players, and we’re incredibly grateful that you’ve all stuck with us long enough for the true WFTO vision to be revealed. Keep hashing those Chunders, Underlords!
Brightrock Games is not liable for any personal, interpersonal or hardware damage caused by the appropriation of your computer for the hashing of DungeonCoin. End user is solely liable for any incidents of overheating, melting, CPU fan explosions, thermal paste ingestion, boils, burns, bankruptcy, and any other outcomes of the proprietary DungeonCoin technology.
Cult of Duty FAQ
Q. If my Robe is reduced to 0% durability am I naked?
In order to avoid affecting our ratings board scores (15) we are legally required to confirm the Cultist does indeed wear his skivvies in this case. However we plan to release a De-Censor DLC for £69.69 which will make your cultist appropriately naked. This comes with a free weapon! The Massive(ly exaggerated) Rod of Evil.
Q. When I do a 360 quickscope upon my enemies, will I be rewarded with Experience Points?
Yes. Every successful “Quickscope” will result in you being rewarded with Experience Points, which can be spent on unlocking attachments for your weapon of choice.
Q. I enjoy playing video games, because it’s exciting when the marios bounces around. However, I often feel anxious that I’m wasting my time watching a computer character collect coins on the screen, which is where I watch the game on. Is there any solution to this?
There is! The recent deployment of DungeonCoin allows you to generate value merely by playing our game - and then trade or sell your minions to other savvy consumers. Not a single minute spent in WFTO will be wasted, and the line always goes up!
Q. I have lost the ability to go to the toilet by myself
Until April 12th Underlords,
– Brightrock Games Team
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