Dispatch

1. 
   "Didn’t see that coming?"Secret

   Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
   32%
2. 
   "Sorry, kid."Secret

   Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
   55%
3. 
   "All gas no brakes baby."Secret

   Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
   63%
4. 
   "I can confirm he’s a bad ass."Secret

   Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
   34%
5. 
   "Muuuuurrrdaaaaah!"Secret

   Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
   27%
6. 
   "I'm a bleeder."Secret

   Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
   44%
7. 
   "Any plans tonight?"Secret

   Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
   31%
8. 
   "We can just be friends."Secret

   Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
   16%
9. 
   "That’s, like, a real superhero."Secret

   Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
   72%
10. 
    "I’m the guy behind the desk."Secret

    Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
    20%
11. 
    "It smells very chemically in here."Secret

    Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
    56%
12. 
    "I wish to make love to you again."Secret

    Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
    45%
13. 
    "Watch your back, Robert."Secret

    Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
    41%
14. 
    "But I cheered for Invisigal..."Secret

    Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
    64%
15. 
    Career Development

    Aced Your Performance Review
    71%
16. 
    H4ck3d by R0b3rt

    Succeeded On All Hacking Levels
    3.4%
17. 
    Work Spouse

    Reached Max Synergy With a Hero Duo
    62%
18. 
    Anti-Antivirus Club

    Destroyed 3 Antiviruses in Less Than 15 Seconds
    49%
19. 
    Power Trip

    Expanded Powers for 4 Different Heroes
    83%
20. 
    "Love ‘em from my mouth to my butt."Secret

    Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
    37%
21. 
    "There. You happy now?"Secret

    Steam withholds the description of a secret achievement.
    10%
22. 
    "Did I drool on you?"

    Hired at SDN
    94%
23. 
    "You gonna eat those twinks?"

    Disobeyed by Invisigal
    90%
24. 
    Shift Was Lit

    Completed a Z-Team Shift Without Missing or Failing a Call
    49%
25. 
    Getting to Know Yous

    Discovered Every Hero's Starting Power
    84%
26. 
    Fool's Luck

    Succeeded a Call with <15% of Success
    17%
27. 
    Snake Eyes

    Failed a Call with >70% of Success
    73%
28. 
    Nailed It

    Achieved a Perfect Dispatch With Only One Hero
    81%
29. 
    Overkill

    Covered the Entire Graph on a Single Call
    59%
30. 
    Modded

    Reached all bonuses and successfully avoid all failures
    52%
31. 
    Phoenixes Down

    Healed the Same Hero Twice in a Shift
    51%
32. 
    Time's Running Out

    Completed a Hacking Level With less than 5 Seconds Left
    17%
33. 
    Burning Chrome

    Completed a Hacking Level With at least a third of the Timer Left
    81%
34. 
    Min Max

    Upgraded a Stat to 10
    34%
35. 
    From Zero To Hero

    Maxed Out a Hero
    81%
36. 
    Dispatched

    Collected All Achievements
    1.5%

Names, descriptions and icons are the game’s own, as Steam publishes them; the share is how many owners have unlocked each, from Steam's global figures for 36 of them.