Hello there inmates,
Our ninth devblog has arrived and if you're new to the prison, you may want to know what threats are looming behind bars during your very veryyyyy long stay in our facility. What do you mean "you thought it was the most secure prison out of space?". Well it is, just not for you, inmate!
Space Prison was designed to be dangerous from the start. Surviving here is about as easy as trying to win a staring contest with a black hole. No surprise there, considering one of the main inspirations for the game was the prison scene from Guardians of the Galaxy, featuring the galaxy’s finest scum and villains.
But what’s the biggest threat in a place like this? Well, take your pick:
1. The Conditions
Space Prison is a massive fortress floating in the void of space, built to keep criminals locked inside. They budgeted enough for thick walls but ran out of cash when it came to giving prisoners decent living conditions. The food? A sad gray mush, and yep, you gotta pay for it. The showers? Broken. Sanitation? Don’t even ask.
Your first challenge is keeping yourself fed—easier said than done when hunting for food often means avoiding becoming food yourself.
But hey, food is just the bottom tier of the needs pyramid, right? What’s the point of surviving if there’s nothing to live for? Hope is another key resource you’ll need to manage. Sometimes, it’s the little things—a better meal, a rare hot shower—that keep you going. Lose your motivation, and when danger strikes, your will to fight might bail on you faster than your cellmate during a riot.
2. The Other Prisoners
And then there’s... well, everyone else. Did you really think you’d walk in, high-five the other inmates, and share a laugh over your morning bowl of synthetic oatmeal? Think again.
Sure, you might make a friend or two, but most of these folks are hardcore criminals. Join a gang, and maybe some of your new buddies will back you up—but you’ll also inherit their enemies, who’d love to crush a rookie like you. Threats, extortion, and the occasional beatdown? That’s just a regular Tuesday.
If you want to keep what’s yours, you’ll have to fight for it. Luckily, if you do your homework—like studying the strengths and weaknesses of your rivals and picking the right gear and crew—you might survive another day.
3. Combat
Speaking of fights, let’s talk battle tactics. It’s not just your enemies you have to watch out for—combat arenas are filled with hazards that can explode in your face if you’re not careful.
But hey, if you’re smart, you can turn that chaos to your advantage. See that toxic egg sitting precariously in the corner? Time it right, and you can blow it up just as your enemy strolls by. Or maybe shove them onto an armed grenade left on the floor. The trick is to be the one doing the shoving, not the one getting shoved.
4. Fauna and Flora
Other prisoners aren’t your only problem. Space Prison is so big, the system stopped bothering to keep it tidy ages ago. Every corridor and shadowy nook is teeming with alien creatures that seem to multiply daily.
Sometimes, just heading to the bathroom feels like gearing up for war—armor on, knife in hand, and maybe a couple of battle-hardened rats by your side. And if someone catches you queuing for the shower like that? Trust me, no one’s batting an eye.
5. The System
Last but not least: The System. These are the folks who were supposed to “rehabilitate” us. We’d heard rumors, but we didn’t believe them—until we landed here. That’s when we met them face-to-face: the armed-to-the-teeth guards, the genetically enhanced robo-dogs, and the ever-watchful combat drones.
They’re the ones keeping us caged like animals. They’re the ones stripping away our freedom and dignity day after day. And eventually, they’re the ones we’ll have to take down if we ever want to reclaim what’s rightfully ours.
Survival in Space Prison isn’t just a challenge—it’s a lifestyle. Think you’ve got what it takes?
We hope we did not scare you too much and you will enjoy your stay, it's not as if you have the choice in coming into the prison or not!
See you behind bars!
Wooden Alien Team