Comrades!
This year is over. And as you may have noticed, 2022 has arrived. However, if you didn’t have time to notice it, we apologize for the spoiler…
The most important thing, of course, is to wish you all the best and nothing bad.
So this difficult matter calls for the good ol’ grandma wish. That’s why we wish you everything that grandmothers do but multiplied by three. If for some reason, your grandmother hates you, then it's not our fault — we still love you, even if you’re lousy grandchildren. Even Bob.
Hear that, Bob? We adore you!
All right, formalities and wishes aside, it’s time to get down to the main topic of this news. As we’ve already mentioned, 2022 has arrived. Surely, you’ve found all these “twos” quite suspicious — and you’re right to do so. The year 2022 consists of two numbers “two,” preceded by two other numbers, one of which — get ready for it — is also “two!”
An amazing coincidence? We don't think so.
Let's move on. 2022 is not that big a problem until the 22nd day of the 22nd month of 2222 comes — this is where it gets very serious. In addition to the upcoming "Great Number Two", we have spent exactly two years in the pandemic or, to be more precise, 731 days.
731 — have you noticed?
If you subtract the last “1” from the second “3”, it will be 2.
If you subtract the last “1” from the first “7” and then divide it by the remaining “3” – you get 2 again!
Even if you add up all the numbers 7+3+1 it will still be two!
By the way, “B” is the average grade in the diplomas of the developers of Breathedge, and it’s the SECOND letter in the alphabet…!
… Another coincidence, you say?
Many of you have probably already started to get nervous and are looking at your watch, where there is probably a number two. Did we guess right? A-ha!
But that's not all.
This piece of news was rewritten twice and was published on the second attempt on Steam, which belongs to Valve Corporation. As we know from unverified sources, 2 is the favorite number of this great company — definitely not number 3, nope.
See for yourself: Half-Life 2, Team Fortress 2, Left 4 Dead 2 (4 = 2+2!!!), Portal 2, Dota 2, Counter-Strike Online 2, and even the Source 2 engine.
Maybe it's still just a coincidence?
No, no, and no!
Was that not enough?
We say “Ha ha!” to you — two times. Number Two hasn’t even started its disastrous march yet.
Right now, walk up to any mirror — come on, don’t be lazy.
How many nostrils, ears, eyes do you see? Most certainly Number Two pop-ups in your mind — only the chosen ones can say they have just one nostril.
Alright-alright, if that doesn’t impress you, the following thought experiment certainly will:
Now, close your eyes… Breathe in and breathe out two times… Think of Number Two, and count to two.
When you counted to two, what was the last number? Don’t rush to look at the answer below… Have you counted it yet?
YES, EXACTLY — IT’S TWO!
“OMG, OMG, OMG!” you scream. “How did they know?!” you keep screaming.
That’s it!
We could provide no less than 222 examples of Number Two entering our everyday life — from two attempts of our programmer to fix bugs to two of us wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year in this piece of News. (Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, comrades! — here it is, the 2nd time.)
But all this, of course, is an extremely huge hint at you-know-what…
Yes, yes, yes!
You probably have already guessed: “All this developers’ “Number Two” speech is for a reason. They’ve probably prepared some information about something we’ve been waiting for so long!”
And you’d be right if you have!
That is true! Today, in the year of 2022, after the release of Breathedge, we’d like to officially announce that we are going to recommend you to brush your teeth no less than TWO times a day! Two! Two. Two, two, two.
So it goes. By the way, if you’ve read this piece of news two times, then you’ve probably noticed that some letters in different words make up the word “two.”
It’s unexplainable, but it’s a fact.
Well, and traditionally we would like to remind you that you can always send your questions, wishes, or requirements to repair your saves to the two contacts listed below. Sometimes we respond via direct messages on social networks, but Discord or mail will convey your idea at times faster, fuller, and better. We don't know how it works, but that's not the point. We would be happy to receive your messages!
Our Discord:
https://discord.gg/uezQcU7
Our Discord:
[email protected]
Our two:
2.